...My BZzziks...

DEATH is just the BEGINNING....

2011-01-18T06:27:00.000-08:00

Death is just the beginning... Someone special told me this today....And I want to believe in this so desperately... I have no choice i have to believe this...

Today i felt pain, pain of loosing someone dear, someone young and so worthy of living... And if i dont believe that his death is only the beginning for him, i'll feel even more miserable than i am feeling now... Though i doubt i can go even further cuz i am at the edge...

So young........ So caring about his friends and everyone... So funny and smart...A REAL Gyumreci...

I cant help but remember every little thing in detail about what he did how he did why he did and it hurts me even more.... This constant realization hurts me more and these salty tears just can't sooth that pain can they...? Not at all...

They came down and dry only to leave a feeling of more emptiness and more pain......of loss..

Yeah, someone special..you were right..." after all, life is just a matter of time",,... But his time came too early...Who had the right to take him???

Death is so ridiculous...disgusting..Death doesnt really care who is it he's taking... No you weren't taken by Death, my friend, you were taken by an Angel... Though that certain Angel had NO right to take you from the people that cherished and loved u anyway....

Life's only Beutiful.....because it's so fleeting, so translucent... so true Dei..

I hope you are happy wherever you are now ARTASHES JAN...

obsession...

2011-01-14T04:04:00.000-08:00

.. at times when i start to feel empty, when darkness overflows me and makes me shiver and quiver from its sinister breath... it's like a ray in the darkness, like a rope of hope that i clutch in my hands so hard that it hurts... well, this is from another series...

Anyway, recently the cells of my beautiful mind have found another addiction to keep me entertained, and strangely enough it's anime...))) Who would've ever thought!

Never thought it would be so real to me, so vivid and absorbing... It came like a wave of forbidden desires,/hmm/ a way of self-expression, self-improvement, and of course entertainment.... Thanx to Masashi Kishimoto :**** million hugs to a man of such fantasies, and billion bows!

And here i find myself absorbed in all kind of anime related things - manga, fan fiction and fanart! A soothing relaxation to my mind and soul, when I watch, when i read, when i draw... it's such a "outta-universe-feeling"... :)

P.S. Aishiteimasu Itachi, aishiteimasu Deidara!!!

it's done..it's gone...

2010-06-15T08:27:00.000-07:00

It's over...
How many times have i told this to myself? countless, maybe,,,...
but now I'm sure,,,.. as much as I've been sure previous times---It's over... Then why do i feel so calm and peaceful? Maybe because I'm in the eye of the storm and it's quiet, it's peaceful...
I like this. No fights over trivial things, no choking from nervousness and breaking fingers on the keyboard trying to prove sth desperately to someone who, it turns out to be, doesn't believe you and has never trusted...!!
Mere self-deception.. and no meaningless talks lasting for centuries on the phone..
...yes i don't want you to explain me, to "open my eyes"..why do you think your eyes are wide open and you can teach me what's right???
why did you offer this fake "let's stay friends" bullshit thing? don't you see it's over? u won't return anything..
i don't wanna live in your golden cage...
You love me...
I love you..
It's over...

Հետաքրքիր ալերգիաներ :)

2010-06-03T12:00:00.000-07:00

Ինտերնետում թափառելիս հանդիպեցի 10 հետաքրքիր փաստի ալերգիայի մասին հենց այս կայքում :)...
ահա մի քանի ալերգիաների տեսակներ````

Ալերգիա սեփական երեխայից-.. չէ սա պատկերավոր արտահայտություն չի ցավոք, հանդիպում է իրականում և նկատվում է հղիության առաջին ամիսներին կամ ծննդաբերությունից հետո..խեղճ անմեղ երեխա...
Ալերգիկ ջրից - aquagenic urticaria.. պատկերացնում եք ինչ ահավոր կլինի ամբողջ կյանքում չլողալ, վաննայում չrelaxվել կամ ամենաահավորը` չլողանալ...դե ավելի լավա տանից դուրս չգալ ընդհանրապեսսս
Ալերգիկ սեքսի նկատմամբ ... ես չեմ ծավալվի, մանրամասն կարդացեք ԱՅՍՏԵՂ :Ճ
Ալերգիկ արևի նկատմամբ` solar urticaria.. սա շատ ծանր ալերգիա է, որի դեպքում մաշկը արևի լույսից ստանում է մահացու այրվածքներ...առանց "զագառ"ի տխուրա...
Ալերգիկ համբուրվելու նկատմամբ - էլի շատ տխուր ալերգիա...ախր առանց դրա էլ ոնց կլինի??..:Ճ
Ալերգիկ փայտի նկատմամբ - պատկերացրեք մի մարդու, ով ստիպված է իր տան ողջ կահույքը մետաղից պատվիրել...մի տեսակ ռոբոտատուն կստացվի չէ?
Ալերգիկ ժամանակակից տեխնիկայի նկատմամբ - համակարգիչ, հեռախոս, մեքենաներ, հեռուստացույց... խեղճ մարդ բա ոնց ես ապրելու?...

Բայց ես ամենը կարդալուց հետո ես հասկացա ինչքաաաան բախտավոր եմ ես իմ "որոշ փոշոտվող ծառերից" ալերգիայով...դե փռշտոցա, բանա...կանցնի... մմմմուաաահ իմ համեստ ալերգիային:ՃՃՃ

իսկ դուք ինչից ալերգիա ունեք??

Exam panic

2010-05-31T08:31:00.000-07:00

Dear Jesus when will this nightmare be over???
How many nerve cells am I supposed to kill permanently till I get through this mess??? Well taking into account that those nerve cells don't regenerate, I feel like I'm loosing something very precious...And who's gonna pay me for that?? I prefer US dollars plz...:) But Euro would do as well...
Oh well stop complaining... few days left, and summer here I come!!! I mean here I come...to work...
I so don't like to be a grown up!!..;)
Anyway, to those of you who pass through that stress, I wish all the patience and good nerve cells!!

Eating Indian

2010-05-29T10:25:00.000-07:00

Mmmm...
guess what? Indian food is delicious!! All these specific spices make sure u never forget their taste anymore...In fact you may find some really good recepies here - Indian tasty recipies ...
well my stomach is pretty unused to that kind of spicy and specific food and growls a little, but overall I think I'm gonna start cooking Indian right now...
so, see you...hopefully)

What do you see???

2010-05-28T06:11:00.000-07:00

This is the city I live in... The view from my window...Source of optimism isn't it?? ;)
As I sit near the window and sip my coffee I come to realize - Even in the darkest days there are rays of sun to brighten up a small part inside... And after the hardest rain the sun will always come out! So just don't pay attention to these large large clouds and try to notice the small things in life that make you happy...
Be happy...

Smoke and Choke!!!

2010-05-28T03:43:00.000-07:00

As I sit in the "marshutka" and kill the driver in my mind for taking too much time in the busstop, I suddenly notice a guy who's preparing to get on another "marshutka"... there's nothing unusual about him, just an ordinary unimpressive guy. But as he waits for the people ahead to get into the marshutka, he smokes his cigarette quickly not wanting to throw any bit of it away...Well, "smoke" is a nice word compared to what he's actually doing-he's sucking it quickly andthe hardest he can, he's sucking his death the hardest he can...:( , and I can't help but think "Smoke and choke!!!"....

what a killer mood today huh...
p.s. a passer by: "what's your problem huh...?? let him smoke.. mind your own business"...:)